I know. I walked out the door
Don’t remember what it all was for
I just wanted you to chase after me-
Tell me to turn around; but I’m all alone.
I break, knowing I’m not good enough
Every inch is scarred, calloused, and rough
Unwanted orphan searching for a home
No, not a house- I long for a home.
My heart, I gave you; you’re my only home
Yet I still feel like an orphan every storm.
I threaten to leave without meaning to
And suddenly I am put to shame.
All I wanted was you to be my home
To welcome me back despite where I’ve come from.
Wrap me in your arms; tell me all is okay.
When I try to run, chase me- make me stay.
Alone, I walked out the door
I looked back and sobbed ‘til my eyes were sore
All I wanted was for you to say you’re sorry;
Tell me to turn around as you chase after me.
I wronged him; but still, he held me close
Folded me against his chest as I sobbed.
I remember I told him I looked like a mess
Then I heard it-
“You look beautiful as always.”
My heart crumbled with fear,
And he left me in my tears
As he went to bed that night
Without saying the words “goodnight.”
He used to be so kind
Looking at me with his soft eyes;
A gentle smile of love,
Sweet words to halt my sobs.
I remember him wiping away my tears,
Whispering apologies in my ears;
I remember the day when he said
He can never get mad at me.
I miss the days when he
Would be ever forgiving to me.
His patience would never run low
As it unconditionally grew.
But times have changed and he-
Has changed along with time.
Now I shall sleep in fear
With this crumbling heart of mine.
The day was sunny and the future was bright-
A brief escape from reality’s flames
A wondrous heaven of aimless walking and laughter,
Endless as it seemed-
Too good to be true.
As all good things come to an end
The day has passed; you brought me back
To my darkness that I try to destroy.
Bottomless pit, sorrowful tears,
Rain and rainbow in its cycle
Too much sunlight brings forth heaven’s tears.
Endlessly caged within my storm,
I try not to be happy;
I’m afraid that I will be.
She’s desperate to leave, weak and depressed,
Slowly surrendering to her dark side.
I’m determined to keep her, to love her;
I’ll show her wondrous things of her she does not see.
Sure enough, I’ve said and done some wrong things,
But a better man I shall be all for her.
I’ll help her find herself and show her what’s real;
I’ll light the fire inside her heart that has gone dim.
You were chasing me;
I was chasing an illusion.
It took one month, you see,
For me to break the confusion.
Every word you spoke
Made me fall in deeper;
But every word you spoke
Made you draw much farther.
I was too blind to notice
The beating of my heart.
To know that you’re the one I miss,
Through the pain each time we part.
You’re no longer chasing me;
I’m no longer chasing an illusion.
Now that you’re the only one I see,
You are trapped inside confusion.