life

I Might Lie

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[VERSE 1:]
Truth.
My heart wants to work it out with you,
Marry you- grow old with you.
My heart ain’t got somebody else;
Don’t wanna start with someone new.
Stupid heart- in prison; my mind, prison guard
There’s only so little left of me, I’m going insane.
You drive me crazy; can’t bruise again
I set myself free.

[CHORUS:]
You tore me to pieces
What’d you expect me to do
My stupid heart, I love you
But I hate you,
Can’t take my mind off you.
And if you see me with him,
All smiles with the perfect man
I might be wishing it’d be you
Waiting for you to come take me home.
But these words I can never tell you
I won’t tell you; I’m a woman.
So If you ask me if I’m happy with him,
If I’m over you, found somebody new-
I might lie.

[VERSE 2:]
Truth.
I know I told you to leave me alone
When all I really want is you to stay with me.
I know I’ve said we ain’t got no hope
But deep inside I want you to prove me wrong.
And even if I won’t pick up the phone
To see the miss calls bring warmth in my heart
But you drive me crazy; need to protect myself
I set myself free.

[CHROUS]

[REFRAIN:]
And if someday I get a boyfriend, if any, after you
And you decide you still want me, and your heart aches to see me with him
Don’t be afraid to come over, and tell me the truth
And court me like you’ve never before, cause maybe I’m really still into you.
And someday when I’m in a white dress, bells ringing, doves singing
And your heart aches seeing me in a white dress with some other man,
Don’t be afraid to stand up, and speak before it’s too late-
And spare me from eternity thinking what it would be if you were a better man.
Spare me from eternity spending my lifetime with the wrong man.

[CHROUS]

And if in a decade or so, I’m still your only one,
Even after I have wandered far and lied to you,
Perhaps then I will know it’s true
And maybe then I wouldn’t have to lie,
Maybe then I could finally say
I love you too.

Dear Knight (The Battle Has Begun)

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Dear Knight,
If you choose to take on this battle with me, then please do not give up midway. This war will last for years- perhaps a decade or more, so spare my fragile heart from crumbling to pieces then. If you find that you are not strong enough to continue fighting for me for 10 long years, then you might as well not enter the battle at all. Once you start fighting, please, fight until your last breath. Aim to finish the war.

 

Someday we’ll know if we are meant to be
Even when right now, we have space between.
One day, we’ll test whether my hands still fit in yours,
Whether my face still finds the curve of your neck.

A long road full of beasts, fire, and thorns
Is the road we travelled on and fell plenty times.
Although you are the nightmare that I love,
There’s still time for you to make a change.

To be mine, you’ll have to work harder than the rest;
But if you past this quest, I can give you my best.
Two hearts must remain true through the dessert march,
A life-long battle with drought, hanging on to faith.

This be the path you choose, equip your heart-
The armor of God you must have for yourself.
Be ready for the enemies, as well as the king and queen;
Their sole princess, reserved for the best knight.

Don’t you worry ’bout others; work on yourself
Let God take over and change your heart
Wisdom can only come from Him above,
And wisdom be what you are to crave.

Do all for His glory; do what is right-
Your princess may wander, but in your arms she’ll be
When she sees you a better man- so equip yourself.
Choose your armor and be wise; the battle has begun.

 

(Happy 18th Birthday, R.M.K.)

Homeward

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Ashamed of the things I allowed to be done, ashamed of my sin,
I let these things define who I am- the past and mistakes.
For long, I’ve thrived in my guilt, broke down a number of times
Fearing the consequences to come- punishment from above.

With my sin and immoral acts, I drifted apart from You;
For how can I come to You in prayer when Perfection is Your name.
I heard the devil’s victory laugh as my soul collapsed
As I allowed my every shame to conquer and devour my core.

Fearing how people would see me and judge me when they find my flaws,
Knowing how people love to gossip as I lose their respect.
Afraid of how unlovable I would then be if things were to fall apart-
How I would grow old, lonely and gray, bitter of all things.

Searching for people’s approval, people-pleaser that I am,
I forget there is one to please the most- You, O Lord.
I let the world win over my convictions and sway me from my roots
I ask for Your forgiveness, for strength- to be renewed.

Your great love remains unchanged even though I’ve let You down;
There is nothing I can ever do for You to love me any more or less.
Your grace is abundant, Your blessings overflow;
I’m showered everyday by Your grace that I do not deserve.

Lord, lead me to follow Your commands, allow me to stand firm
I long to draw closer to You, as I have drifted far.
I am Your sheep- wandered lost, fallen, and wounded;
You are my good Shepherd, searching and calling me home.

Midnight Creatives #2: His Mistakes

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We had agreements we thought we could keep
To only cross over- the trust that I ripped.
Her heart so innocent, so pure, and full of wonder-
Is the heart slipped from my hands, crashing down under.

A million glass pieces, shards that turned black;
Blood from my hands slipping through every crack.
Where light once was came darkness from within
Seeping into her veins and through her bloodstream.

The Essence of Promises

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Time and change may cause us to drift apart;
It may be a fight or nothing at all.
People move on, some people stay grudged;
Rain or snow, some things be better left untouched.

A trust that once was bestowed upon you
Remains as a promise with the same value.
No anger nor pain be valid enough
For betrayal, divulgence, denouncement, and such.

A New Fire

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If my fire grows dim and starts to fade,
Would you try to rekindle it?
No, don’t put a glass globe; don’t try to confine
Don’t force the flame- it’ll die within.
Use a lighter, light a match. Start a fire- a new fire.

If all is finished and I’m left drifting smoke,
You can either give up or try again.
Don’t try to catch them; set them free
Smoke is never healthy for you and me.
Gather some sticks, find some stones. Start a fire- a new fire.

When Life Hits You Hard

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Hopelessly broken, sprawled on the floor
You worry much more than you’ve ever had before.
Anxious and confused, afraid to make a move;
You avoid the crossroads, but there you are again.

It’s no wonder they say “Look before you fall.”
It may be you were never meant to be at all
Your heart has grown attached, he runs through your veins
His core never really changes when he says he’ll change.

You live your life daily doing what you do;
But inside, your heart is heavy- your mind is too.
For once you wonder if you undergo depression,
That perhaps you’ve gotten a phycological disorder.

Fairytale happy endings you used to dream about
Vanished little by little as doubt come after doubt.
Life hit you hard enough to see reality,
So all that’s left for you is practicality.