heartbreak

The Time We Passed

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My heart crumbled with fear,
And he left me in my tears
As he went to bed that night
Without saying the words “goodnight.”

He used to be so kind
Looking at me with his soft eyes;
A gentle smile of love,
Sweet words to halt my sobs.

I remember him wiping away my tears,
Whispering apologies in my ears;
I remember the day when he said
He can never get mad at me.

I miss the days when he
Would be ever forgiving to me.
His patience would never run low
As it unconditionally grew.

But times have changed and he-
Has changed along with time.
Now I shall sleep in fear
With this crumbling heart of mine.

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An Escort into My Storm

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The day was sunny and the future was bright-
A brief escape from reality’s flames
A wondrous heaven of aimless walking and laughter,
Endless as it seemed-
Too good to be true.

As all good things come to an end
The day has passed; you brought me back
To my darkness that I try to destroy.
Bottomless pit, sorrowful tears,
Forever caged.

Rain and rainbow in its cycle
Too much sunlight brings forth heaven’s tears.
Endlessly caged within my storm,
I try not to be happy;
I’m afraid that I will be.

Waiting

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When will I find the one who won’t bring me tears
Who’d only make me cry of joy, whose actions calm my fears?
My heart is cold as stone- alone- away from Christmas cheer
It’s been this way ever since on each and every year.

When will I find my good prince practicing chivalry
Who’d slay every dragon for me, not his own glory.
To have full effort shown, nothing less; to be priority
To be appreciated of while respecting boundary.

When will I find a man who’d chase me through the rain
Who’d stay with me at every step, who’d take away my pain?
I need someone to push me to be better- not drive me insane
Who’d pass my every single test, who’d love my every stain.

Rider

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His sword, his shield, his cap, his built
His twisted mind; heart without guilt
Rider on a horse as dark as night
Do not be fooled- a thief in disguise.

With you, he’ll ride across the sky,
Beware dauntless princess, pure as white;
Taboo is the full moon- don’t draw near,
Break away when to the moon he veers.

Riding faster, steel forms in his eyes
Tell him to stop, the faster he’ll fly.
Dives into the full moon, clouds your mind,
Kills your soul, leaves you entwined.

His words, his gifts, his touch, his kiss
His promises of perfect bliss
Rider on a dark horse as dark as night
Do not be fooled- an assassin in disguise.

I Might Lie

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[VERSE 1:]
Truth.
My heart wants to work it out with you,
Marry you- grow old with you.
My heart ain’t got somebody else;
Don’t wanna start with someone new.
Stupid heart- in prison; my mind, prison guard
There’s only so little left of me, I’m going insane.
You drive me crazy; can’t bruise again
I set myself free.

[CHORUS:]
You tore me to pieces
What’d you expect me to do
My stupid heart, I love you
But I hate you,
Can’t take my mind off you.
And if you see me with him,
All smiles with the perfect man
I might be wishing it’d be you
Waiting for you to come take me home.
But these words I can never tell you
I won’t tell you; I’m a woman.
So If you ask me if I’m happy with him,
If I’m over you, found somebody new-
I might lie.

[VERSE 2:]
Truth.
I know I told you to leave me alone
When all I really want is you to stay with me.
I know I’ve said we ain’t got no hope
But deep inside I want you to prove me wrong.
And even if I won’t pick up the phone
To see the miss calls bring warmth in my heart
But you drive me crazy; need to protect myself
I set myself free.

[CHROUS]

[REFRAIN:]
And if someday I get a boyfriend, if any, after you
And you decide you still want me, and your heart aches to see me with him
Don’t be afraid to come over, and tell me the truth
And court me like you’ve never before, cause maybe I’m really still into you.
And someday when I’m in a white dress, bells ringing, doves singing
And your heart aches seeing me in a white dress with some other man,
Don’t be afraid to stand up, and speak before it’s too late-
And spare me from eternity thinking what it would be if you were a better man.
Spare me from eternity spending my lifetime with the wrong man.

[CHROUS]

And if in a decade or so, I’m still your only one,
Even after I have wandered far and lied to you,
Perhaps then I will know it’s true
And maybe then I wouldn’t have to lie,
Maybe then I could finally say
I love you too.

Midnight Creatives #2: His Mistakes

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We had agreements we thought we could keep
To only cross over- the trust that I ripped.
Her heart so innocent, so pure, and full of wonder-
Is the heart slipped from my hands, crashing down under.

A million glass pieces, shards that turned black;
Blood from my hands slipping through every crack.
Where light once was came darkness from within
Seeping into her veins and through her bloodstream.

Memory of July 22, 2016

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Weakening of the flesh, weakening of the soul
Lost will, lost hope, crushed dreams; an empty dark hole.
Forced on the ground- helpless and confused,
It’s been nine months now, but bruise came after bruise.

A pain in your chest, a punch in your gut,
Constricting of the lungs, deep breathes- no air.
A noise in your head, poison starts to spread
Tears well up in your eyes; they start to flow.

A memory- a gift; this memory- a curse
To remember is a nightmare during the day.
Never ending nightmare, still gruesome until now
You wonder when it’ll end, you wonder how.