heart

Rider

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His sword, his shield, his cap, his built
His twisted mind; heart without guilt
Rider on a horse as dark as night
Do not be fooled- a thief in disguise.

With you, he’ll ride across the sky,
Beware dauntless princess, pure as white;
Taboo is the full moon- don’t draw near,
Break away when to the moon he veers.

Riding faster, steel forms in his eyes
Tell him to stop, the faster he’ll fly.
Dives into the full moon, clouds your mind,
Kills your soul, leaves you entwined.

His words, his gifts, his touch, his kiss
His promises of perfect bliss
Rider on a dark horse as dark as night
Do not be fooled- an assassin in disguise.

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I Might Lie

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[VERSE 1:]
Truth.
My heart wants to work it out with you,
Marry you- grow old with you.
My heart ain’t got somebody else;
Don’t wanna start with someone new.
Stupid heart- in prison; my mind, prison guard
There’s only so little left of me, I’m going insane.
You drive me crazy; can’t bruise again
I set myself free.

[CHORUS:]
You tore me to pieces
What’d you expect me to do
My stupid heart, I love you
But I hate you,
Can’t take my mind off you.
And if you see me with him,
All smiles with the perfect man
I might be wishing it’d be you
Waiting for you to come take me home.
But these words I can never tell you
I won’t tell you; I’m a woman.
So If you ask me if I’m happy with him,
If I’m over you, found somebody new-
I might lie.

[VERSE 2:]
Truth.
I know I told you to leave me alone
When all I really want is you to stay with me.
I know I’ve said we ain’t got no hope
But deep inside I want you to prove me wrong.
And even if I won’t pick up the phone
To see the miss calls bring warmth in my heart
But you drive me crazy; need to protect myself
I set myself free.

[CHROUS]

[REFRAIN:]
And if someday I get a boyfriend, if any, after you
And you decide you still want me, and your heart aches to see me with him
Don’t be afraid to come over, and tell me the truth
And court me like you’ve never before, cause maybe I’m really still into you.
And someday when I’m in a white dress, bells ringing, doves singing
And your heart aches seeing me in a white dress with some other man,
Don’t be afraid to stand up, and speak before it’s too late-
And spare me from eternity thinking what it would be if you were a better man.
Spare me from eternity spending my lifetime with the wrong man.

[CHROUS]

And if in a decade or so, I’m still your only one,
Even after I have wandered far and lied to you,
Perhaps then I will know it’s true
And maybe then I wouldn’t have to lie,
Maybe then I could finally say
I love you too.

Midnight Creatives #2: His Mistakes

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We had agreements we thought we could keep
To only cross over- the trust that I ripped.
Her heart so innocent, so pure, and full of wonder-
Is the heart slipped from my hands, crashing down under.

A million glass pieces, shards that turned black;
Blood from my hands slipping through every crack.
Where light once was came darkness from within
Seeping into her veins and through her bloodstream.

Memory of July 22, 2016

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Weakening of the flesh, weakening of the soul
Lost will, lost hope, crushed dreams; an empty dark hole.
Forced on the ground- helpless and confused,
It’s been nine months now, but bruise came after bruise.

A pain in your chest, a punch in your gut,
Constricting of the lungs, deep breathes- no air.
A noise in your head, poison starts to spread
Tears well up in your eyes; they start to flow.

A memory- a gift; this memory- a curse
To remember is a nightmare during the day.
Never ending nightmare, still gruesome until now
You wonder when it’ll end, you wonder how.

Second Thoughts

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They say that an individual’s friends reflect parts of himself.
They say how he talks about others is how he’ll talk about you.
They say jokes are half meant- especially the bad ones.
Passed on throughout time, these words must hold some truth.

What makes a man, a man? All she sees are teenage boys.
They say boys mature slower- this may be true as well;
Yet this is never a valid justification
Such as the statement “Boys will be boys.”

How can she be blamed when she starts to doubt-
When tears fall from her eyes at least once a week.
Perhaps she has learned her lesson to never trust others-
To love herself first and not give away her everything.

She has thousands and millions of reasons to leave;
Yet that sole reason to stay, she chose to hope and believe.
So small and fragile- one wrong move can shatter her world.
Princess of china, tired and lost in her second thoughts.

Wandering Mind

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Perhaps I expect too much
        Or think way more than I should
        That I become afraid of things
        And finish with nothing done.

We know not all rules are right
        Though sometimes we have to abide
        In order to spare ourselves
        Of consequences we don’t deserve.

Gray areas are everywhere
        And certainty has become rare;
        In a society so wretched,
        Humanity is far fetched.

Perhaps you’ve done plenteous
        That lead my mind to wander far-
        To fantasize one happy ending
        And thousands of dreadful ones.

Voices Inside #5: Little Merman

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I tried to go with the river like everybody else,
But I end up having trouble catching my breath.
I built a canoe to help me row through,
But the current was so strong, it broke in two.

I fell into the water, unto you I cling;
For there’s one thing I can’t do- I can’t swim.
I am terrified; I long to return to land,
But you’re a swimmer, a diver, a merman.

The beauties and dangers of the water I saw.
You promised you won’t let the water hurt me;
But one day curiosity got the best of us,
And we went to the deepest parts of the sea.

O the horrors of such forbidden route-
Still haunts me every single night.
Though you promised no one would ever know,
Such memories don’t just disappear from sight.

My mind went crazy ever since that day,
The voices in my head- they decided to stay.
No matter how hard I tried to remove the stench,
At the end of the day- still the deep sea scent.

We say we won’t return, but we always go back.
King of Atlantis sent his soldiers to attack.
On the wanted list- your face and mine;
Is there still room for reform? Do we still have time?

I fell in love with a merman, what can I do?
He fell in love with a human; the world’s so cruel.
As much as I want to bide, I need to return,
The land’s where I belong; I need to grow and learn.

As you swim, I’ll walk by the riverbank.
Maybe one day I’ll become a mermaid-
Or you become a man; if not,
At least we had what we had.