Ashamed of the things I allowed to be done, ashamed of my sin,
I let these things define who I am- the past and mistakes.
For long, I’ve thrived in my guilt, broke down a number of times
Fearing the consequences to come- punishment from above.
With my sin and immoral acts, I drifted apart from You;
For how can I come to You in prayer when Perfection is Your name.
I heard the devil’s victory laugh as my soul collapsed
As I allowed my every shame to conquer and devour my core.
Fearing how people would see me and judge me when they find my flaws,
Knowing how people love to gossip as I lose their respect.
Afraid of how unlovable I would then be if things were to fall apart-
How I would grow old, lonely and gray, bitter of all things.
Searching for people’s approval, people-pleaser that I am,
I forget there is one to please the most- You, O Lord.
I let the world win over my convictions and sway me from my roots
I ask for Your forgiveness, for strength- to be renewed.
Your great love remains unchanged even though I’ve let You down;
There is nothing I can ever do for You to love me any more or less.
Your grace is abundant, Your blessings overflow;
I’m showered everyday by Your grace that I do not deserve.
Lord, lead me to follow Your commands, allow me to stand firm
I long to draw closer to You, as I have drifted far.
I am Your sheep- wandered lost, fallen, and wounded;
You are my good Shepherd, searching and calling me home.
You’re an angel that came by,
Picked me up; showed me how to fly.
I knew I won’t be on air too long,
But I chose to believe in a song.
The blonde girl warned me not to try,
She didn’t want to see me cry;
But I was too stubborn to listen,
Now, the gap between has been widened.
I dare say, I do love you,
And this, I sure believe you knew.
Even in case I never loved you,
I’d still mend the gap between us two.
This gap, I caused; this I know,
But same do I still love you so.
Yet you’re still that angel that came by,
I no longer have the right to fly.
I’m in the gap, I’m all alone;
And these words I carve with a stone:
“My angel, please give me one last flight;
I promise I’ll be out if your sight.
“With this last flight, do mend the space,
Even if it will take for days.
How you chose to mend, I’ll be okay,
For mending the space, is winning the race.”
I find myself awake all night,
Thinking about the wrongs and rights,
Which is the right path to take?
Waiting for your text and your call,
Thinking about the night at the ball,
Could it just be a mistake?
Cuz as much as I want to help you,
There’s no use if you keep slipping through
Why don’t we start something new?
And it hurts when I think of the day
When I turn around and see, you are
No longer beside me.
So tell me now,
Do I have to speak it out?
“One last time,” these words you said
“One last hug,” these words I said
“Just one dance,” these words in our heads
So if it’s just one, then why am I still hoping?
Waking up to the thought of you,
Wondering if these are all true,
Do I still have a slight chance?
I stare at them as I flash back,
Thinking of all the things I lack,
You’re way too perfect for me.
But no matter how perfect you are,
There’s no use if you keep going far
You’ll never ever reach the stars.
Give me a chance, and I can show you
The other side is more than broken glass.
We can both make this love last.
So tell me now,
Do I have to speak it out?
Maybe way too much.
But I know,
From one single touch.
Just one night,
Made me fall in love.
No one fixes a scar like you
This part I know you never knew
Secretly, I was more than sad,
But when you came, you changed all that.
I was hurt, broken, and lonely,
Then you made my life a party.
Perhaps I may have drank too much,
But my heart, this you had to touch.
Now that you have to pay the price,
I can’t speak, looking in your eyes.
How dare you make me fall in love,
Let us wait till they free the dove.
Times like this when I can’t see you,
I close my eyes and see what’s true-
That I still believe; I still care,
Through the distance, feelings still there.
Your flaws and your assets combined,
Excites this little heart of mine.
Please allow my heart to sing, for
You are the most beautiful thing.
They tell me that I’m in a rush,
So why do I believe in us?
Why can’t I forget the moment,
When you made a great commitment?
But boys are boys; promises break
Am I making a great mistake?
I, you promised; God, you promised,
Tell me the details that I’ve missed
Could I have misunderstood it,
And assumed that a light was lit?
If so, I just want you to know-
That same do I still love you so.
There was a volt locked inside my heart,
I never knew its content from start,
I kept searching for the missing key,
Till it opened one day; now I see-
Feelings rushing in like pouring rain
How can I feel both joy and pain?
What made me enter into this phase?
I never knew till I saw your face.
Started to feel things I’ve never felt,
Recalling memories make me melt;
From when I first met you to retreat,
To NeverlandNow, fast my heart beats.
I don’t regret every moment we’ve spent
I’ll surely treasure them till the end.
Times when I think of closing the volt,
I realize I can’t; hands won’t bolt.
After all, you saw my small details,
Allowed some of my dreams to prevail,
Thought men like you were extinct- no more,
Then you came; I can’t help but adore.
Made me feel like I’m worth something more
Than a tiny local fangirl store.