Even When We’ve Broken Apart
I know I love you true by the way my heart aches,
When I look at you, everything else just fades
Although this sounds cliché, believe me, my heart beats for you
Even when we’re far apart, even when we’ve broken apart.
I know I have said some things to drive you crazy
When I thought that saying them would make it easy-
To say goodbye; I always thought I’d be ready
I would admit that I need you more than you’ll ever need me.
Would you fall in love again now that you’re set free?
Forgive me, please don’t look or fall for anyone else,
For how will I ever live to breathe again
When I see you with another who should have been me?
I know I love you true by the way my past loves fade
You make me feel as if I’ve never loved anyone else.
I know this sounds cliché, but even now that we’ve broken apart
My heart does not wish to stop beating for you.
Depression 2.0
Disclaimer: The following may contain upsetting context that may be inappropriate for certain audiences. This does not, in any way, encourage suicide or glorify depression. This is to further raise awareness, and a mere form of self-expression. It is best to not to proceed reading if you are going through difficulty, as it may induce strong and upsetting emotions. Thank you.
—
Did I fail at life–
Or did life fail me,
So much that I
Long to end my life?
For the older I become,
The more I realize
That my endless wait and hope
Are just futile fantasy.
Woe to My Heart
Woe to me and my heart-
You wound me like no other
Drew your darts and paper flowers
Made me disobey my mother.
Mercy upon my heart strings-
You played me like a player
Gave up everything I’ve garnered
And followed my betrayer.
Lord forgive your cruel actions-
You fill my mind with foolish things
Hunger through every interaction
And starve through famine, craving feast.
(from May 25, 2018)
Cannot Move On
I don’t wish to regret whatever decision we make now
But if we were to split apart, please don’t have someone new
I know it’s selfish but I cannot bear the pain to be replaced
Please wait for me to get over you and have someone else
Not that I want to move on- just that I cannot move on from you.
What No One Knows
She stands alone
She talks to her shadows
The storm came by
And took all she’s ever known
Now she’s lost and lonely
And no one even knows.
She cries alone
In the middle of the night
The storm came by
And she’s lost everything she’s ever had
Now she’s fallen into the dark
And no one even knows.
How can a girl love
When she loved and lost?
How can you keep a girl
When you never won her at all?
She’s found hell and decided
“It’s not so bad,” she says, “I’m already here.”
Pain and flames but she’s grown numb
She can’t find hope nor Light
She’s lost her will to live
And no one even knows.
Chase After Me
I know. I walked out the door
Don’t remember what it all was for
I just wanted you to chase after me-
Tell me to turn around; but I’m all alone.
I break, knowing I’m not good enough
Every inch is scarred, calloused, and rough
Unwanted orphan searching for a home
No, not a house- I long for a home.
My heart, I gave you; you’re my only home
Yet I still feel like an orphan every storm.
I threaten to leave without meaning to
And suddenly I am put to shame.
All I wanted was you to be my home
To welcome me back despite where I’ve come from.
Wrap me in your arms; tell me all is okay.
When I try to run, chase me- make me stay.
Alone, I walked out the door
I looked back and sobbed ‘til my eyes were sore
All I wanted was for you to say you’re sorry;
Tell me to turn around as you chase after me.
Future
Is it wrong that I fear your departure
That I watch as intently as a vulture
No, you’re not a prey I wish to capture—
I just really need you in my future.
