What No One Knows
She stands alone
She talks to her shadows
The storm came by
And took all she’s ever known
Now she’s lost and lonely
And no one even knows.
She cries alone
In the middle of the night
The storm came by
And she’s lost everything she’s ever had
Now she’s fallen into the dark
And no one even knows.
How can a girl love
When she loved and lost?
How can you keep a girl
When you never won her at all?
She’s found hell and decided
“It’s not so bad,” she says, “I’m already here.”
Pain and flames but she’s grown numb
She can’t find hope nor Light
She’s lost her will to live
And no one even knows.
Chase After Me
I know. I walked out the door
Don’t remember what it all was for
I just wanted you to chase after me-
Tell me to turn around; but I’m all alone.
I break, knowing I’m not good enough
Every inch is scarred, calloused, and rough
Unwanted orphan searching for a home
No, not a house- I long for a home.
My heart, I gave you; you’re my only home
Yet I still feel like an orphan every storm.
I threaten to leave without meaning to
And suddenly I am put to shame.
All I wanted was you to be my home
To welcome me back despite where I’ve come from.
Wrap me in your arms; tell me all is okay.
When I try to run, chase me- make me stay.
Alone, I walked out the door
I looked back and sobbed ‘til my eyes were sore
All I wanted was for you to say you’re sorry;
Tell me to turn around as you chase after me.
Future
Is it wrong that I fear your departure
That I watch as intently as a vulture
No, you’re not a prey I wish to capture—
I just really need you in my future.
A Beautiful Mess
I wronged him; but still, he held me close
Folded me against his chest as I sobbed.
I remember I told him I looked like a mess
Then I heard it-
“You look beautiful as always.”
Depression
I’m alone in my silence,
And there she is with Conscience.
I’m in bed, in the darkness,
She tells me I am worthless.
Long days when I feel unloved,
She whispers- to only agree
Triggered through my sensitive skin,
Another wave, she rushes in.
Inseparable- no escape
Endless pitfall of guilt and shame.
Bitter feelings, jealousy-
There’s no future nor hope for me.
To dream for her death is to dream-
A dream so remote, I dare not dream
To tame is a skill I do not have
As the soul is unwilling to embrace.
She walks with me everyday-
She walks among us, my friends.
Don’t look at me on the dark days;
You might see her instead.
Past in Future
Not knowing when be one last time,
This could be time to bid goodbye
As I doubt the days to come
Am I still the apple of your eyes?
Somehow your kindness starts to fade
Though you still wipe away my tears
It’s no longer the same as before-
The way you calmed my fears.
Suddenly, in you, I saw my past
Repeating for my future;
I see the boy who left me back then
Who wavered as he was no longer sure.
If in the future lies one last time,
Then this could be time to bid goodbye
I doubt the days to come-
Will I forever be the apple of your eyes?
The Time We Passed
My heart crumbled with fear,
And he left me in my tears
As he went to bed that night
Without saying the words “goodnight.”
He used to be so kind
Looking at me with his soft eyes;
A gentle smile of love,
Sweet words to halt my sobs.
I remember him wiping away my tears,
Whispering apologies in my ears;
I remember the day when he said
He can never get mad at me.
I miss the days when he
Would be ever forgiving to me.
His patience would never run low
As it unconditionally grew.
But times have changed and he-
Has changed along with time.
Now I shall sleep in fear
With this crumbling heart of mine.
